Who Exactly is Coaching the Heat?

Some gems from the box score of Heat-Bucks game tonight, which the Heat won 112-106. Surprisingly, the Heat won a game; I thought they would lose out.

BENCH	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	PTS
Bobby Jones	19	4-6	1-2	2	0	0	0	0	9

Who!?! He plays for the Heat, apparently. Much to my disappointment, he is not either of the Bobby Joneses which pitched for the Mets back in the 90s. I always forget; which one was the white one? Bobby J. Jones?

BENCH	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	PTS
Michael Ruffin	34	6-8	0-0	16	2	3	2	1	14

Nope, that's not a D-League line. That's a line from an NBA game, albeit against a D-league team.

BENCH	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	PTS
Yi Jianlian	13	0-2	0-0	2	0	0	0	0	0

Me Chinese, me play joke, me go pee-pee in your coke. Joke's on you this time, asshole. Your country's best player is out for the season and using "traditional" Chinese medications to try and heal in time for the Olympics, and your second best player is just plain terrible. Can't get playing time against the Heat; he can't handle the tenacious defense of Bobby Jones.

Awvee Storey, SF DNP COACH'S DECISION

Yep, that's the guy who nearly killed Martynas Andriuskevicius. Gotta love that intensity.

BENCH	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	REB	AST	STL	BLK	PF	PTS
Earl Barron	27	6-15	1-1	5	4	1	0	3	16

I'm still not entirely sure who this guy is. Fancy name. Apparently, he went to Memphis. Unfortunately, he wasn't good enough to receive the Marcus Camby treatment from John Calipari; had to settle for a Tako Sports Watch instead.

STARTERS	MIN	FGM-A	3PM-A	REB	AST	STL	BLK	TO	PTS
Ricky Davis	38	5-10	2-4	4	10	0	0	2	14
Shawn Marion	28	3-8	0-1	12	3	1	2	5	8

Gotta lump these two together. You would think that both are in ideal situations: clearly the best players on awful teams with an opportunity to beef up their stats. So what does Ricky Davis do? He puts up a respectable 14 points, but also gets 10 assists? What?!? 10 dimes from Ricky Davis? He actually PASSED the ball to teammates such as Bobby Jones, Earl Barron, and Joel Anthony. What happened to you, Ricky Davis? You sold out.

Davis finished with only four rebounds. More importantly, Ricky did not decide to throw the ball off of his own backboard six times to grab the rebound in order to get a triple double. You've changed, man, you've changed.

Marion, on the other hand, didn't do anything in this game. Eight points and 12 rebounds? Gotta get your game right. This is a perfect situation; you can finally be the best player on the worst team and fulfill your lifelong dream of a career with no titles and 15 all star appearances.