Alright, so we got lazy

Sorry, America.

Goo and I hit a snag on our business trip and we got sidetracked. Not unlike Derrick Coleman, we lost our focus, squandered our talent and never quite met our expectations (of maintaining a live blog for round one of the NCAA tourney).

But fear not! Dr. Funaki makes his debut tomorrow and it could be about anything. Maybe he'll talk about the tourney. Perhaps he'll give us his musings on the Democratic primaries. Or he might talk about Joe Johnson's penis. Probably that last one.

So I bid you goodnight, but before I go, I'd just like to say that the following people/institutions can go fuck themselves (This is not meant to be funny, entertaining or insightful. It's strictly bitter.):

- Kelvin Sampson: I've only seen Indiana in bits and pieces since Kelvin Sampson's firing, but holy shit, Dan Dakich's offense looked downright anemic tonight. I could use this space to insult Eric Gordon, but he's one of the most exciting college players in recent years. If he has even an ounce of charisma to pair with his on-court skills, then he's going to be the most likable star to emerge out of this draft. So I'll blame you, Kelvin Sampson. Your creepy fascination with harassing 18-year-old boys via text messaging has completely fucked Indiana, their 2008 tournament aspirations and above all, my bracket. Eat shit. I hope you spend the next five years coaching against Quin Snyder in the D-League.

- Clemson: What the fuck Clemson? Remember a year ago when Clemson whined about not making the tourney despite starting the year 17-0 and being ranked as high as #14? I actually thought they had a legitimate case. Sure, they lost to Duke about 9 times in 2 weeks. Sure, a lot of their wins in that time came against the likes of Wofford, Appalachian State and Western Carolina. But I gave them the benefit of the doubt. This year I figure that they can at least handle Villanova - a team that lost to Rutgers, mind you - and they let me down. Go take a Scottie Reynolds-sized baseball bat and shove it up your collective asshole. While you're at it, pass the message along to Vanderbilt. You're not both worth 100 of my words of scorn. Cocks.

- Gonzaga: I could mock you, but nothing cuts deeper than this video.





Last I checked, the only person crying is Michael Jordan. He had a hard-on for Brandon Roy before shirking his gut feeling in favor of the goofy diabetic honkey. So there you have it. Die in a fire, Gonzaga.

Dr. Funaki tomorrow. Remember to get you some.