Joe Johnson's Dong

I just got a call from Dr. Funaki, who is at the Nets-Hawks game tonight with Kid Butterball. He wanted to know how long I thought Joe Johnson get suspended for if he "makes a big shot and celebrates it by pulling down his shorts and waving his dong at the crowd."

The answer, Dr. Funaki, is that Joe Johnson would get a lifetime ban from the NBA, giving new meaning to the phrase "No Balls Association."

You can still crank it as much as you want at home, Joe.

It's not easy to get a lifetime ban. But I think that would do it.

You can beat the crap out of fans (apparently) and only get suspended for a year.

You can sucker punch Rudy T. and put him the hospital.

You can even kick a photographer in the balls.

But, you can't whip out your junk, even just to give a little wave.